Social Media View

So I know several people that have left FB or are not on it as much and have decided to start either using Instagram or Twitter instead. Here is my take on as to why.

FB has way too much drama and I do think some of it comes from the algorithm that is used to manage the site. For example in Twitter people really just post things like a status in fb, however, you don't get in your tweet feed only things that help feed into whatever you happen have posted about at the time.

Instagram on the other hand in order to post you always have to have some kind of picture. So you are following pics people post. which could be silly stuff, feelings or really anything. When pictures are posted less feelings seem to be involved, and you only get to see the things that you choose to follow. Very similar in the algorithm in FB.

So I challenge people to post only pictures to their fb for a week and see if you notice a difference in the anxiety you feel when you are on the platform and how it affects the algorithm of whom you see.

Been 2 yrs. Wow

It's Been 2 yrs and let me just say WOW! Lots has changed in my life. Some good, some not so good. Death has been a huge presence in my life this year. Either with family, friends or pets(who are more like family then some of my family). However, to be fair my family is small. The biggest shock for me was the way my youngest daughter behaved and treated me. Plus I still from time to time really miss my conversations with my mom.There are many things about her I do not miss, but being able to talk with her I really do miss.

Want vs Need

I am constantly hearing in my head in various forms the statement of "What do you need?" or "What do you want?". I am pretty sure that at this point in my life I have everything I need. I have a roof, food, water, clothing, heat. Want on the other hand is a whole different thing.

My wants are long sometimes, so I am going to list some here but from time to time I may update this list and I will try and clarify if the want I am requesting is a big want, little want or if it is something I have wanted for a period of time. Also understand that the wants that I want are for me in some way even if it is something I want for some one else. So let's get started.

Wants
I want to stop feeling like I am never enough for anyone. This has been going on for a very long time and from time to time the people in my life say something to bring up that trigger that sets me off where again I feel I am not enough for anyone, and usually is triggered because people including myself hear something different then what the person intended. Sometimes I don't think people realize how the people around them take things when the words are spoken.

I want to have full disclosure with some one in my life that will not judge me. Although I do have this now I still feel like I must continue to work on this always mainly because here again triggers from my past make me feel like I just need to run and hide.

I want to not overthink things again, again people trigger this for me which usually leads to me being silent and crying myself to sleep silently or in the shower or in the car on the way to work where my tears just flow down my face and I can't stop them.

Ok like I said this is a work in progress more to follow.

Mermaiden

So have you ever met a Mermaiden?  I have, and just like all the legends say they love the water and the beach. They are enchanting and down right mesmerizing. I pinch myself every single day that this mystical creature allows me to be around her. I am constantly 2nd guessing myself and that at some point she is going to disappear, because legend does say they will eventually grow tired and move on to find others. Deep down in my heart I know she will eventually leave for I have seen it in my dreams, but for now I am happiest when I can see her smile and hear her sweet laughs.

Legends of mermaids say that they have this beauty that is breath taking, and I can say that the one that I know fits this description. Watching her play and swim in the water is equally as breath taking just like the legend says. Their song is like no other, and when they sing the music that comes out lures you, and that makes you loose all sense of reality.  The one thing they never mention in the legends though is their scent, which is like the smell of some kind of flower that is breath taking, mixed with the faint smell of the ocean and divine all at the same time. If I could bottle it I would.

My wish for the her is that she always has sand at her feet and water in her hair, a song in her head and love in her heart. She fixed my broken heart and gave it back to me, and no one has ever done that for me before. So thank you Mermaid. May you always have peace, my love for you, happiness and ever lasting light in your life because of the joy you have given me.

Ugh

Ugh so why do I do these things to myself?  I ask myself this question daily. I think that is the question everyone asks themselves?

Bucket List of things I want to do with my life still.

Travel more in US & Canada, Europe if I can afford it.
learn to ride a motorcycle
Teach my grand kids the impotence of taking care of humanity.
Teach my grand kids manners
Walk on the beach more
Go Sailing
Go jet skiing
learn to do Glass blowing
Learn to do stain glass making
live more



I am sure I will add to this list from time to time.

tennis elbow

Well it's been 3 yrs since I have had anything to say on here. I know a long blank, blank, blank time. So lately I have been having a lot of thoughts that make me realize that when we give to much energy to something we become that thing. For example I currently have a case of tennis elbow and the few times I have spoken or told people about it, made me realize this morning that I am becoming that person that has tennis elbow.

I really don't want to be this person. I refuse to be the person that can't or won't do things because of my elbow. I refuse to be the person that even gives my elbow any time or thought. This is the reason why I don't complain about things. Can I say it doesn't bother me still, nope. All I can say is I refuse to obsess over trying to cure or fix it, complain about it or even give it any energy.

So this is a philosophy that I try to apply to about anything and everything in my life. I am still learning but I have to say this definitely the thing that is allowing me to let things go.

Hopefully I won't wait 3 more years to post again...Remains to be seen though. 

Does Social Media blocking just create more drama?

First let me say this is my Opinion and my Observations of this phenomenon.

So recently I was blocked by some one on my social media account.  I am not some 20 year old and I really wonder when people my age do this kind of thing what they hope to achieve by blocking some one?

Before the advent of social media if some one pissed you off you simply just didn't speak with the person and almost to the point of avoiding them when you might even possibly run into them. However, the advantage to this is the person never even knew you were trying to avoid them or not happy with them for whatever reason unless they happen to run into you or some one told them.

With blocking some one on social media the person knows they have done something to not be in your favor and in turn I find it truly does create way more drama then necessary.  Not to mention the whole drama that gets created when a person realizes they have been blocked. It either re-lives the whole reason or as in my case makes me wonder about the maturity of the person that did this to me cause We am not in high school anymore. Even though writing about it may appear this way. Sorry I digress.

Now some people may wonder how you can figure out if some one blocked you. If the person use to be on your page and you log into social media with a different account you can still see that person that you can't see from the account that they have blocked. So seriously what is the point to blocking?

I realize it was created to help cut down on the stalkers and bad people, but if I were having this kind of problem I would either create a whole new account with a whole new different name and only give it to a trust group or not use social media at all. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer is my motto.

The only way I can say blocking can work is if you block some one the moment you create the account, but here again if the person is smart and wants to know if your account exists they just need to log in using a different account with a name you might not consider to find you. Which sometimes would require you to be a mind reader. So once again we have the which came first scenario, the chicken or the egg?  Another question for another day I suppose.

So again in my observation and my opinion I do believe blocking just creates more drama then necessary. Seriously can't we all just get along?

Hope everyone is well and having great weather.

Namaste

CAT

Use the Toilet paper sparingly

So it's been awhile since I have posted on any of my blogs. Just been busy tatting my life away. Don't think I have mentioned that I am a needle tatter on here ever.

Last post on here was about toilet paper. So in keeping with tradition I have decided to blog about it again. 

This is the time in my life where money is so tight I can't even afford to purchase toilet paper. You know you're struggling when you can't afford the toilet paper in the house. I'd put my address up on here and request that people send a role or two, but I am too afraid that I would end up with 20,000 rolls of toilet paper. Then I would have to come up with some creative way to craft with it all just to help cut down on my toilet paper, however seriously can some one mail me a roll?

Hypothetically what would I craft if I did receive that much toilet paper?  Perhaps something like this.

 

http://www.allthingspaper.net/2011/08/gulnas-kunstblog.html

Actually I do find that to be pretty awesome. 

Meanwhile I can't do any of it until I get a roll. 

Hope all is well with everyone. 

Registered Priority mailed toilet paper.

So recently my step daughter came to visit and when she left she forgot to take her engagement ring with her. So I had to mail it back to her. After filling out 6 different labels and having two different postal workers trying to decide the best way to mail the ring back was registered priority mail. In packaging up the ring however they gave me a roll of toilet paper to wrap around the ring (which was in an envelope). So when the ring arrived with her this was the conversation we had.


>Her 
When I opened it I thought I had gotten a priority mail toilet paper roll.
thanks so much though



>Me
They made me wrap it in that..and you did get priority mail toilet paper roll.
Use the toilet paper sparingly as it is not every day that some one gets priority toilet paper in the mail
>Her
whoops...
>Me
lol...I am guessing you didn't really truly think about that part did you.
>Her
I admit that I did not.
>Me
After all not only was it priority mail toilet paper it was registered to!!!!!
people had to sign for it every time it changed a hand....lol
>Her
Oh noes!!! What have I done?
>Me
well live and let learn I suppose...but going forward you should really think about it


During this conversation though it makes me wonder how often some one really does have toilet paper sent registered, priority mail. These questions and move plague me at times.



CAT

Just me...and close to my heart...

Some people know this about me and others do not. I have two grown kids. One of whom was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder or Clinical Depression.  Along with the depression there is also, Agoraphobia, Emetophobia(fear of vomit), and Telephobia(fear of making phone calls and receiving them) , Anxiety Disorder,  and Panic Disorder. This isn't about my child but rather about me. I only give the afflictions as a point of reference for others.

 As a parent, partner, spouse and sometimes friend of some one that suffers from these afflictions you will know what I am speaking of. Some people know that these things are not things you can just get over. Depression is a disease just like Cancer or even heart disease, and although none of these have been proven to be hereditary it is believed that they all are.  The difference is if my child needed a kidney to cure them I could give one, but unfortunately what they have I can't cure with anything I could give. I have been told that I tend to coddle too much, but as a parent it is hard not to, because the one time I don't could be the last. It is hard balancing trying to parent how you might a normal child with a child with these afflictions even if the child is an adult. It is not that I want to make life easy for my kids because I do believe life is hard and making life easy only makes it worse but rather that I do not want to push too much either because with this disease it is hard for them to balance even the simplest of tasks sometimes in themselves.

I am not trying to make excuses but the disease is a struggle. As a symptom of the disease it can be very hard for them to even recognize they have the disease at all or how severe it truly is.  I have seen this first hand. I was in a relationship for over 20 years with my kids father who also suffers from Depression, Agoraphobia, Bipolar, PTSD, Schizophrenia psychosis and yet as a symptom of the diseases he has doesn't believe he has all of them or any of them on any given day at any given time and then other times he will say he has some of them. It has been a constant battle in trying to get him to seek treatment for these issues and as a result I finally had to walk away.

 I have watched a physical metamorphosis take place in the face, also can be a symptom of the disease, and it does make me think that sometimes when people were accused of being possessed by a demon I can see why. Especially for those that suffered back in times when this disease wasn't looked upon as a disease but rather a way that some one just needed to get over.  After all when you give birth to a child and as a baby they are so happy, smiling and then the day comes when they are not it because they look like they are not the kid you gave birth to because you can physically can see that what you are looking at is not your kid you do question these things.

 It is hard to separate the disease from the actual person at times and realize that what they are saying isn't really them. Like when they say they want to kill themselves and even attempt to do so. It can be very hard to come to the understanding that nothing you could say or do would prevent that from happening if they do end their life, because when they actually attempt it or succeed it was a symptom not a selfish act on their part. All you have in times like these is a sense of faith or hope as the support person that is watching what can seem like a scene from a bad movie unfold before your eyes.  A sense of hope that this is the not the lesson that karma would want you to learn right now, and the saddest part is when you were wrong.

Although I know that more research is being done in this area every single day and a lot has been learned in the last 20 yrs even that some day like the cure for cancer and other diseases that we can see a cure for this. However isn't this what everyone wants that has to deal with some one that has any kind of disease?

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And for your other viewing pleasure check out my other two blogs.

Mypetsadventures

Creative-cooking

Ciao
CAT

And so Confusion sets in...

I study people. I tend to study them a lot. I have been told I should have been a psychologist and perhaps the people that have told me this are right as I do tend to study them more then 50% of any given day. People that is. That is a lot of people studying. So in my latest studying this is what I have found.

Within society we have different societal communities that come in all shapes, sizes, personalities and such. So my confusion comes with the fact that some of these different societal communities their lack of openness and yet instead judgmental and close mindedness seems to prevail. You would think that open mindedness and non judgmental would prevail in any societal community that wasn't the norm and yet this doesn't appear to be the case. It's like living in a live version only older of the movie "Mean Girls". All that is missing is the burn book.

 The people within these communities usually have been a victim of bullying so you would think because of this that it would make them the most tolerant of anyone and anything, and yet it's the direct opposite. I have witnessed people be shut out because of the way in which they live, because of the choices they have made, or where they do or do not stand within society. It is sad really...truly it is. It actually hurts my heart as a result of this.

I guess I just model myself after the FFM traits more then others do. Or perhaps I hold myself to a much higher standard so because of this it confuses me that others would choose not to. When I see some one I know that needs help I do try and help them every way I can. Even if it means being their friend so they have at least one true friend in this world. My wish is that the rest of the world would try and live up to this as well. I know there are others out that feel this same way that I do and also try to live by this philosophy, but I just wish more of the world would do so as well, and yet funny how it takes the passing of some one for people to realize that they fell short in these very things.

As times goes on I only hope that we as a society and community can be more tolerant and open to everyone and everything. That we can reach out to people and be a true friend, not just one that is there when it's convenient. A wise person told me once that we were lucky if we could find one true friend that would remain our friend throughout the course of our life time, and it's sad that our life seems to mimic this very sediment. Still one of my favorite poems listed below.

CAT

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

How did I arrive here again?

How did I arrive here again?  A friend suggested that it must be a wine night for to have arrived at this destination. However wine would not be the cause of the destination but rather a result of it instead. Then it was recommended I use my GPS in the future. People don't understand that I tend to argue with my GPS. So why is it that things in life seem to run in circles. I realize that it's because we have not learned certain lessons and the universe wants to make sure we get the lesson. However, why a circle and not a square?  Or any other shape for that matter.

The Dalai Lama said today "Gaining mastery over our destructive propensities, through the exercise of awareness and self-discipline with regard to our body, speech, and mind, frees us from the inner turmoil that naturally arises when our behaviour is at odds with our ideals. In place of this turmoil come confidence, integrity, and dignity - heroic qualities all human beings naturally aspire to." in his status on Facebook today. Perhaps the arrival is a sign of the turmoil in our lives?

So I say again, How did I arrive here again? I think my arrival is definitely a direct result of the turmoil in my life, and clearly I am not reaching my aspirations.

CAT

How I see the world

So I do believe that we as people are either a survivor or a victim. Depending on how you view your world you fit into one of these two categories. So let me described these two categories before I continue on. A survivor is the person that can rise above it all. No mater whatever IT is. Be it a situation, and occurrence or whatever. Basically a victim can not. Victims get hung up in all kinds of reasons as to why they just can't.

Now just because you fall in the victim role doesn't mean you can move into a survivor role, but in order to do so it is definitely a mind over matter to be able to do just this. This would be a transformation to be able to do this, and yes similar to a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. Some do believe that if they believe they are a survivor it makes them one. In truth the proof is in the pudding. It can be done, but having the attitude of the glass is always half full vs half empty definitely help.

So I explained all of this today to my doctor at my yearly appointment today and this was after she told me she has decided to go do only hospice patients... At least it wasn't something I said......

CAT

Why I do what I do....

So a couple of years ago a friend whom shall remain anonymous gave me the idea to start blogging indirectly. She tends to be on the flaky side of things but it was her suggesting the movie Julia & Julia that got me to thinking about blogging. My father was an English professor and a published author so I figured I might give this a shot, and not that what I ever write about is any comparison to what he did but I do have to say I do enjoy this.

Since I have started Blogging though I have noticed more and more people that are doing it as well. Makes me wonder what starts them on their journey?  I do have to say though I enjoy Arlynn Presser's blog that is the woman that made a News Years resolution to meet all of her 365 Facebook friends, and even though she wasn't able to actually meet all 365 for various reasons she still managed to meet more then half and that in itself is an accomplishment. I hope to achieve something similar...just not sure what that something is yet.

CAT

To read about my animals go to this blog(Mypetsadventures).

To see what I have cooked lately go this blog(Creative-Cooking).

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My Unicorn thought

So I believe that every person has a right to their opinion, view, belief, etc...and I also believe that we as people should not try and  change anyone, but in thinking about this more and more I am wondering if any one person is truly capable of following through with this belief or is this just a mythical thought, or a unicorn of a thought? So I have analyzed what it is I do when confronted with some one that does something that I don't believe, or like. Take drug abuse. I truly can't stand the stuff..drugs that is. Nor can I understand the people that choose to take part in this behavior. I get the whole psychological piece of it all, but I think to myself why can't people just be more stubborn or hard headed and just be strong and move on from it, and in that instance I realize that in that thought alone I am wishing they would change. I might not come out and say that I wish they would change, but I did have the thought. So my next question is would just having the thought of wanting some one to change be just as bad as telling that person. Isn't even thinking it trying to bend the will of another to our own ideas? Some people are very vocal about their beliefs and some are not. I tend to express myself more in a written format then vocally. Perhaps this is because in the verbal format the feed back isn't as quick to come and it gives me the time to digest it and perhaps hear what the person was trying to say. Or perhaps like it has been pointed out to me I just like to hide behind what I am thinking, feeling. Who knows....more on this later I am sure.

In other news you should check out my other blogs soon as there will be some guest bloggers coming shortly. Happy Monday everyone.

CAT

MypetsAdventures

Creative Cooking

Been awhile I know

So I posted this on my FB page yesterday as a debate for everyone to weigh in on.

Subject for debate today. Why does it seem like the friends you meet online seem to be more dependable then the people you actually know in person? Is it the fact that the person that is close doesn't really want to have to give of them self? I have close friends that come through for me a lot, but I know of others that seem to have people that never come through for them, and yet their online friends do. Makes me wonder what is this phenomenon. Just wondering..

 Some seem to think that some people are reliable and some people just are not. Well that could be true for people that are online or not. So there is some truth to this statement, but I am not sure that being online or not has anything to do with this statement.

Another person said they try to rely simply on them self only. Well I do think most people probably do this as general on a whole. However, there are times when a person doesn't have this choice. For example when a person is sick or injured they might not have a choice and the person that doesn't have family to step in what are they suppose to do?  Who are they suppose to rely on?

Another person suggested that perhaps it's because the person that is now online used to be close to the  person earlier in life. While the concept of this can be true there are some online friends that I have made that I have never met in person and never were part of my life earlier. However, there are some online friends that yes I did know earlier in life such as old classmates.

And last some one said it was because it might be,  "easier to sound like a friend online than to be a friend in person" Perhaps this is true but some of the people that are not near by, but to me that just seems like the online person might be superficial. Having met one of these people not sure I can believe in this theory either. 

So perhaps it's more a case of that all of these things blended together are true. People are complicated and some might be reliable or unreliable, because they use to be close but they figure the person is probably only relying on themselves like they do and all because they feel it's easier to sound like a friend then to be one in person?  Who knows?  I don't even pretend to know but I do like to have people weigh in on the subject matter. Have thoughts on this feel free to weigh in as well.

CAT 

MMPD

MMPD is a phrase that I like to refer to as MySpace Multiple Personality Disorder. If you spend enough time on the social networking sites like I have you start to notice over time that there seem to be a lot of people that have more then one site and profile for the Social Networking sites. Although this phenomena is mostly seen in the younger generations, you can see it as well with some of the older generations to.

The younger generation seems to use the MMPD for a whole variety of different reasons. Some of them do this to create whole fantasy world's for themselves where they make people believe that they live in places they do not, and live desparate lives so that others will feel the need to sympathize with them and it seems to feed into their fantasy world's.

I have followed this one person that has had a total of three different sites with three different names, two different locations that she says she lives in and even she has even gone as far to have different pictures of people that she is not and on one site she is a white lebanese/rican mix and on the other site she is black. As far as I can tell she does this to fullfil her need to be loved, and to be able to lurker on other's sites that she has an interest in.

I did read a study that stated that some people do this so that different part of their personality can shine through when they create these different sites. I found this to be interesting especially because it does in it's own way create a split personality of the person that has the multiple sites. As I look at this more in detail I will continue to study this and continue to feed the finds on.

Cat