Friday, January 20, 2017

Want vs Need

I am constantly hearing in my head in various forms the statement of "What do you need?" or "What do you want?". I am pretty sure that at this point in my life I have everything I need. I have a roof, food, water, clothing, heat. Want on the other hand is a whole different thing.

My wants are long sometimes, so I am going to list some here but from time to time I may update this list and I will try and clarify if the want I am requesting is a big want, little want or if it is something I have wanted for a period of time. Also understand that the wants that I want are for me in some way even if it is something I want for some one else. So let's get started.

I want to stop feeling like I am never enough for anyone. This has been going on for a very long time and from time to time the people in my life say something to bring up that trigger that sets me off where again I feel I am not enough for anyone, and usually is triggered because people including myself hear something different then what the person intended. Sometimes I don't think people realize how the people around them take things when the words are spoken.

I want to have full disclosure with some one in my life that will not judge me. Although I do have this now I still feel like I must continue to work on this always mainly because here again triggers from my past make me feel like I just need to run and hide.

I want to not overthink things again, again people trigger this for me which usually leads to me being silent and crying myself to sleep silently or in the shower or in the car on the way to work where my tears just flow down my face and I can't stop them.

Ok like I said this is a work in progress more to follow.