Friday, January 20, 2017

Want vs Need

I am constantly hearing in my head in various forms the statement of "What do you need?" or "What do you want?". I am pretty sure that at this point in my life I have everything I need. I have a roof, food, water, clothing, heat. Want on the other hand is a whole different thing.

My wants are long sometimes, so I am going to list some here but from time to time I may update this list and I will try and clarify if the want I am requesting is a big want, little want or if it is something I have wanted for a period of time. Also understand that the wants that I want are for me in some way even if it is something I want for some one else. So let's get started.

I want to stop feeling like I am never enough for anyone. This has been going on for a very long time and from time to time the people in my life say something to bring up that trigger that sets me off where again I feel I am not enough for anyone, and usually is triggered because people including myself hear something different then what the person intended. Sometimes I don't think people realize how the people around them take things when the words are spoken.

I want to have full disclosure with some one in my life that will not judge me. Although I do have this now I still feel like I must continue to work on this always mainly because here again triggers from my past make me feel like I just need to run and hide.

I want to not overthink things again, again people trigger this for me which usually leads to me being silent and crying myself to sleep silently or in the shower or in the car on the way to work where my tears just flow down my face and I can't stop them.

Ok like I said this is a work in progress more to follow.

Monday, October 3, 2016


So have you ever met a Mermaiden?  I have, and just like all the legends say they love the water and the beach. They are enchanting and down right mesmerizing. I pinch myself every single day that this mystical creature allows me to be around her. I am constantly 2nd guessing myself and that at some point she is going to disappear, because legend does say they will eventually grow tired and move on to find others. Deep down in my heart I know she will eventually leave for I have seen it in my dreams, but for now I am happiest when I can see her smile and hear her sweet laughs.

Legends of mermaids say that they have this beauty that is breath taking, and I can say that the one that I know fits this description. Watching her play and swim in the water is equally as breath taking just like the legend says. Their song is like no other, and when they sing the music that comes out lures you, and that makes you loose all sense of reality.  The one thing they never mention in the legends though is their scent, which is like the smell of some kind of flower that is breath taking, mixed with the faint smell of the ocean and divine all at the same time. If I could bottle it I would.

My wish for the her is that she always has sand at her feet and water in her hair, a song in her head and love in her heart. She fixed my broken heart and gave it back to me, and no one has ever done that for me before. So thank you Mermaid. May you always have peace, my love for you, happiness and ever lasting light in your life because of the joy you have given me.

Friday, June 24, 2016


Ugh so why do I do these things to myself?  I ask myself this question daily. I think that is the question everyone asks themselves?

Bucket List of things I want to do with my life still.

Travel more in US & Canada, Europe if I can afford it.
learn to ride a motorcycle
Teach my grand kids the impotence of taking care of humanity.
Teach my grand kids manners
Walk on the beach more
Go Sailing
Go jet skiing
learn to do Glass blowing
Learn to do stain glass making
live more

I am sure I will add to this list from time to time.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

tennis elbow

Well it's been 3 yrs since I have had anything to say on here. I know a long blank, blank, blank time. So lately I have been having a lot of thoughts that make me realize that when we give to much energy to something we become that thing. For example I currently have a case of tennis elbow and the few times I have spoken or told people about it, made me realize this morning that I am becoming that person that has tennis elbow.

I really don't want to be this person. I refuse to be the person that can't or won't do things because of my elbow. I refuse to be the person that even gives my elbow any time or thought. This is the reason why I don't complain about things. Can I say it doesn't bother me still, nope. All I can say is I refuse to obsess over trying to cure or fix it, complain about it or even give it any energy.

So this is a philosophy that I try to apply to about anything and everything in my life. I am still learning but I have to say this definitely the thing that is allowing me to let things go.

Hopefully I won't wait 3 more years to post again...Remains to be seen though. 

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Does Social Media blocking just create more drama?

First let me say this is my Opinion and my Observations of this phenomenon.

So recently I was blocked by some one on my social media account.  I am not some 20 year old and I really wonder when people my age do this kind of thing what they hope to achieve by blocking some one?

Before the advent of social media if some one pissed you off you simply just didn't speak with the person and almost to the point of avoiding them when you might even possibly run into them. However, the advantage to this is the person never even knew you were trying to avoid them or not happy with them for whatever reason unless they happen to run into you or some one told them.

With blocking some one on social media the person knows they have done something to not be in your favor and in turn I find it truly does create way more drama then necessary.  Not to mention the whole drama that gets created when a person realizes they have been blocked. It either re-lives the whole reason or as in my case makes me wonder about the maturity of the person that did this to me cause We am not in high school anymore. Even though writing about it may appear this way. Sorry I digress.

Now some people may wonder how you can figure out if some one blocked you. If the person use to be on your page and you log into social media with a different account you can still see that person that you can't see from the account that they have blocked. So seriously what is the point to blocking?

I realize it was created to help cut down on the stalkers and bad people, but if I were having this kind of problem I would either create a whole new account with a whole new different name and only give it to a trust group or not use social media at all. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer is my motto.

The only way I can say blocking can work is if you block some one the moment you create the account, but here again if the person is smart and wants to know if your account exists they just need to log in using a different account with a name you might not consider to find you. Which sometimes would require you to be a mind reader. So once again we have the which came first scenario, the chicken or the egg?  Another question for another day I suppose.

So again in my observation and my opinion I do believe blocking just creates more drama then necessary. Seriously can't we all just get along?

Hope everyone is well and having great weather.



Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Use the Toilet paper sparingly

So it's been awhile since I have posted on any of my blogs. Just been busy tatting my life away. Don't think I have mentioned that I am a needle tatter on here ever.

Last post on here was about toilet paper. So in keeping with tradition I have decided to blog about it again. 

This is the time in my life where money is so tight I can't even afford to purchase toilet paper. You know you're struggling when you can't afford the toilet paper in the house. I'd put my address up on here and request that people send a role or two, but I am too afraid that I would end up with 20,000 rolls of toilet paper. Then I would have to come up with some creative way to craft with it all just to help cut down on my toilet paper, however seriously can some one mail me a roll?

Hypothetically what would I craft if I did receive that much toilet paper?  Perhaps something like this.


Actually I do find that to be pretty awesome. 

Meanwhile I can't do any of it until I get a roll. 

Hope all is well with everyone. 

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Registered Priority mailed toilet paper.

So recently my step daughter came to visit and when she left she forgot to take her engagement ring with her. So I had to mail it back to her. After filling out 6 different labels and having two different postal workers trying to decide the best way to mail the ring back was registered priority mail. In packaging up the ring however they gave me a roll of toilet paper to wrap around the ring (which was in an envelope). So when the ring arrived with her this was the conversation we had.

When I opened it I thought I had gotten a priority mail toilet paper roll.
thanks so much though

They made me wrap it in that..and you did get priority mail toilet paper roll.
Use the toilet paper sparingly as it is not every day that some one gets priority toilet paper in the mail
lol...I am guessing you didn't really truly think about that part did you.
I admit that I did not.
After all not only was it priority mail toilet paper it was registered to!!!!!
people had to sign for it every time it changed a
Oh noes!!! What have I done?
well live and let learn I suppose...but going forward you should really think about it

During this conversation though it makes me wonder how often some one really does have toilet paper sent registered, priority mail. These questions and move plague me at times.