Friday, June 24, 2016


Ugh so why do I do these things to myself?  I ask myself this question daily. I think that is the question everyone asks themselves?

Bucket List of things I want to do with my life still.

Travel more in US & Canada, Europe if I can afford it.
learn to ride a motorcycle
Teach my grand kids the impotence of taking care of humanity.
Teach my grand kids manners
Walk on the beach more

I am sure I will add to this list from time to time.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Well it's been 3 yrs since I have had anything to say on here. I know a long blank, blank, blank time. So lately I have been having a lot of thoughts that make me realize that when we give to much energy to something we become that thing. For example I currently have a case of tennis elbow and the few times I have spoken or told people about it, made me realize this morning that I am becoming that person that has tennis elbow.

I really don't want to be this person. I refuse to be the person that can't or won't do things because of my elbow. I refuse to be the person that even gives my elbow any time or thought. This is the reason why I don't complain about things. Can I say it doesn't bother me still, nope. All I can say is I refuse to obsess over trying to cure or fix it, complain about it or even give it any energy.

So this is a philosophy that I try to apply to about anything and everything in my life. I am still learning but I have to say this definitely the thing that is allowing me to let things go.

Hopefully I won't wait 3 more years to post again...Remains to be seen though. 

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Does Social Media blocking just create more drama?

First let me say this is my Opinion and my Observations of this phenomenon.

So recently I was blocked by some one on my social media account.  I am not some 20 year old and I really wonder when people my age do this kind of thing what they hope to achieve by blocking some one?

Before the advent of social media if some one pissed you off you simply just didn't speak with the person and almost to the point of avoiding them when you might even possibly run into them. However, the advantage to this is the person never even knew you were trying to avoid them or not happy with them for whatever reason unless they happen to run into you or some one told them.

With blocking some one on social media the person knows they have done something to not be in your favor and in turn I find it truly does create way more drama then necessary.  Not to mention the whole drama that gets created when a person realizes they have been blocked. It either re-lives the whole reason or as in my case makes me wonder about the maturity of the person that did this to me cause We am not in high school anymore. Even though writing about it may appear this way. Sorry I digress.

Now some people may wonder how you can figure out if some one blocked you. If the person use to be on your page and you log into social media with a different account you can still see that person that you can't see from the account that they have blocked. So seriously what is the point to blocking?

I realize it was created to help cut down on the stalkers and bad people, but if I were having this kind of problem I would either create a whole new account with a whole new different name and only give it to a trust group or not use social media at all. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer is my motto.

The only way I can say blocking can work is if you block some one the moment you create the account, but here again if the person is smart and wants to know if your account exists they just need to log in using a different account with a name you might not consider to find you. Which sometimes would require you to be a mind reader. So once again we have the which came first scenario, the chicken or the egg?  Another question for another day I suppose.

So again in my observation and my opinion I do believe blocking just creates more drama then necessary. Seriously can't we all just get along?

Hope everyone is well and having great weather.



Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Use the Toilet paper sparingly

So it's been awhile since I have posted on any of my blogs. Just been busy tatting my life away. Don't think I have mentioned that I am a needle tatter on here ever.

Last post on here was about toilet paper. So in keeping with tradition I have decided to blog about it again. 

This is the time in my life where money is so tight I can't even afford to purchase toilet paper. You know you're struggling when you can't afford the toilet paper in the house. I'd put my address up on here and request that people send a role or two, but I am too afraid that I would end up with 20,000 rolls of toilet paper. Then I would have to come up with some creative way to craft with it all just to help cut down on my toilet paper, however seriously can some one mail me a roll?

Hypothetically what would I craft if I did receive that much toilet paper?  Perhaps something like this.


Actually I do find that to be pretty awesome. 

Meanwhile I can't do any of it until I get a roll. 

Hope all is well with everyone. 

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Registered Priority mailed toilet paper.

So recently my step daughter came to visit and when she left she forgot to take her engagement ring with her. So I had to mail it back to her. After filling out 6 different labels and having two different postal workers trying to decide the best way to mail the ring back was registered priority mail. In packaging up the ring however they gave me a roll of toilet paper to wrap around the ring (which was in an envelope). So when the ring arrived with her this was the conversation we had.

When I opened it I thought I had gotten a priority mail toilet paper roll.
thanks so much though

They made me wrap it in that..and you did get priority mail toilet paper roll.
Use the toilet paper sparingly as it is not every day that some one gets priority toilet paper in the mail
lol...I am guessing you didn't really truly think about that part did you.
I admit that I did not.
After all not only was it priority mail toilet paper it was registered to!!!!!
people had to sign for it every time it changed a
Oh noes!!! What have I done?
well live and let learn I suppose...but going forward you should really think about it

During this conversation though it makes me wonder how often some one really does have toilet paper sent registered, priority mail. These questions and move plague me at times.


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Just me...and close to my heart...

Some people know this about me and others do not. I have two grown kids. One of whom was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder or Clinical Depression.  Along with the depression there is also, Agoraphobia, Emetophobia(fear of vomit), and Telephobia(fear of making phone calls and receiving them) , Anxiety Disorder,  and Panic Disorder. This isn't about my child but rather about me. I only give the afflictions as a point of reference for others.

 As a parent, partner, spouse and sometimes friend of some one that suffers from these afflictions you will know what I am speaking of. Some people know that these things are not things you can just get over. Depression is a disease just like Cancer or even heart disease, and although none of these have been proven to be hereditary it is believed that they all are.  The difference is if my child needed a kidney to cure them I could give one, but unfortunately what they have I can't cure with anything I could give. I have been told that I tend to coddle too much, but as a parent it is hard not to, because the one time I don't could be the last. It is hard balancing trying to parent how you might a normal child with a child with these afflictions even if the child is an adult. It is not that I want to make life easy for my kids because I do believe life is hard and making life easy only makes it worse but rather that I do not want to push too much either because with this disease it is hard for them to balance even the simplest of tasks sometimes in themselves.

I am not trying to make excuses but the disease is a struggle. As a symptom of the disease it can be very hard for them to even recognize they have the disease at all or how severe it truly is.  I have seen this first hand. I was in a relationship for over 20 years with my kids father who also suffers from Depression, Agoraphobia, Bipolar, PTSD, Schizophrenia psychosis and yet as a symptom of the diseases he has doesn't believe he has all of them or any of them on any given day at any given time and then other times he will say he has some of them. It has been a constant battle in trying to get him to seek treatment for these issues and as a result I finally had to walk away.

 I have watched a physical metamorphosis take place in the face, also can be a symptom of the disease, and it does make me think that sometimes when people were accused of being possessed by a demon I can see why. Especially for those that suffered back in times when this disease wasn't looked upon as a disease but rather a way that some one just needed to get over.  After all when you give birth to a child and as a baby they are so happy, smiling and then the day comes when they are not it because they look like they are not the kid you gave birth to because you can physically can see that what you are looking at is not your kid you do question these things.

 It is hard to separate the disease from the actual person at times and realize that what they are saying isn't really them. Like when they say they want to kill themselves and even attempt to do so. It can be very hard to come to the understanding that nothing you could say or do would prevent that from happening if they do end their life, because when they actually attempt it or succeed it was a symptom not a selfish act on their part. All you have in times like these is a sense of faith or hope as the support person that is watching what can seem like a scene from a bad movie unfold before your eyes.  A sense of hope that this is the not the lesson that karma would want you to learn right now, and the saddest part is when you were wrong.

Although I know that more research is being done in this area every single day and a lot has been learned in the last 20 yrs even that some day like the cure for cancer and other diseases that we can see a cure for this. However isn't this what everyone wants that has to deal with some one that has any kind of disease?

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Monday, June 18, 2012

And so Confusion sets in...

I study people. I tend to study them a lot. I have been told I should have been a psychologist and perhaps the people that have told me this are right as I do tend to study them more then 50% of any given day. People that is. That is a lot of people studying. So in my latest studying this is what I have found.

Within society we have different societal communities that come in all shapes, sizes, personalities and such. So my confusion comes with the fact that some of these different societal communities their lack of openness and yet instead judgmental and close mindedness seems to prevail. You would think that open mindedness and non judgmental would prevail in any societal community that wasn't the norm and yet this doesn't appear to be the case. It's like living in a live version only older of the movie "Mean Girls". All that is missing is the burn book.

 The people within these communities usually have been a victim of bullying so you would think because of this that it would make them the most tolerant of anyone and anything, and yet it's the direct opposite. I have witnessed people be shut out because of the way in which they live, because of the choices they have made, or where they do or do not stand within society. It is sad really...truly it is. It actually hurts my heart as a result of this.

I guess I just model myself after the FFM traits more then others do. Or perhaps I hold myself to a much higher standard so because of this it confuses me that others would choose not to. When I see some one I know that needs help I do try and help them every way I can. Even if it means being their friend so they have at least one true friend in this world. My wish is that the rest of the world would try and live up to this as well. I know there are others out that feel this same way that I do and also try to live by this philosophy, but I just wish more of the world would do so as well, and yet funny how it takes the passing of some one for people to realize that they fell short in these very things.

As times goes on I only hope that we as a society and community can be more tolerant and open to everyone and everything. That we can reach out to people and be a true friend, not just one that is there when it's convenient. A wise person told me once that we were lucky if we could find one true friend that would remain our friend throughout the course of our life time, and it's sad that our life seems to mimic this very sediment. Still one of my favorite poems listed below.


A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown